(Me when looking at shelves at bookstores)
We all want simple things in life, a comfortable bed, a cup of coffee and a good book. We all want to drive to a bookstore, pick up that certain book peacefully. Then the bookstores laughs, “lol no”.
Here are a few things on what could happen* in a bookstore. (*I am only basing on experiences)
* CUSTOMER’S SERVICE*
1. We all knew about that We had it bookmarked from Goodreads, watch a review on Youtube for a thousand times, and basically liking all tumblr post about it. Then we decided to pick up a copy (finally!) We drove to the nearest bookstore (in my case a 4-hour bus ride to the next next city). We imagine, going through the shelves, seeing a shiny copy of the book, getting it out the shelves and placing it at the counter, grinning like an idiot as you pay the book.
Then you arrive at the bookstore, you search through the shelves. Top shelf, you scan the titles. “Huh, it’s not here. It’s probably at the shelf below” Then you repeat the process for the next shelf, then the next one, then you realize you scan every single shelf at the freaking bookstore including the self-help shelves.
Then you decided to approach to the customer’s service
You : Uh… is *title of the book* available?
Customer’s Service bored guy: Author
You : *insert author’s name*
Customer’s Service bored guy : Huh, I swear we have that author here somewhere in our data base.
You: Maybe it got sold out. Thank you tho *you started to move away from the counter*
Customer’s Service bored guy : No I swear it was here!
* IS THIS YOUR NAME? : Yet another debacle at the Customer’s service*
2. Since you have experience wasting money and gas fare in going to the bookstore and having not brought a book back (see scene 1), you decide to call ahead and have a copy reserved.
Here what usually happens during and after the call:
- The customer’s service won’t pick up.
- The customer’s service has a bitch hired to answer calls.
- The customer’s service (Thank goodness) picks up
You: Hello, could I reserve a copy of *insert title*
Other line : Sure thing, to whom should I reserve the copy?
You: *insert a complicated name*
Other line: Could you spell it please?
You: *spells it*
Other line: Okay. Hold on, it’s double n right? And instead of I it’s y? Is this your name? Wow you have such a cool name! Who did your parents name you after? Wow a combination of all your grandma’s name? Your parents are so cool. I wish my name is that unique!
You: uhhhh, ummm, yeah, oh right,
Other line: So what is your full name.
Then you had enough…
You: Thank you for reserving the book.
*tot* tot* *tot*
Then you decided, next time you call you’ll use a more common name. even if it’s not you.
*THAT SHOPAHOLIC SAMPLE SALE SCENE*
3. Who knew that bookworms are that aggressive? Well for a book, maybe. You pass by a bookstore. You have no intention to buy anything, since you already place an order at two book websites and you’re just waiting for the book mail to come, but you see it printed at a shiny yellow cardboard “Sale up to 75%”
Then you rush in, see tables and shelves of books on lower prices! Then you quickly scans the table and shelves, shoving books in your arms (even if you probably won’t read it, but who the hell cares it’s on sale!)
You already have 5 books in your arms. Then you saw the last table, your jaw drops, your books drop. Sitting there is a shiny autograph copy of the book you’ll always love. You pick it up, smell the pages and stare at the signature of the author at the first page. Then you realize, that it’s still cost much even if it’s on sale. You wanted to cry, you wanted that unnecessary autograph copy. But you need it! But your wallet talk you out of it. You slowly place the book back and let go of it.
Just in a split second a hand shoot in and snatch it from where you place it back. Shit! Now you want it. The scene from the Confession of the Shopaholic. 10 minutes later, two security amd a ripped book, you arrived home with a deranged book in your shopping bag. Success!